Perfectionism
Perfectionism is a hardwired personality trait that is characterized by setting unobtainable standards of yourself and others and being extremely self-critical. Perfectionism runs on a continuum that ranges from healthy to unhealthy. Healthy levels of perfectionism can help individuals strive for personal growth and reach important life goals while embracing the imperfections of life. Individuals with unhealthy levels of perfectionism tend to exhibit extreme and rigid thinking and have a fixed mindset that sets the stage for greater difficulties with emotion regulation and perseverance through life adversity. While perfectionism is not a formal mental health diagnosis there is a strong relationship between perfectionism and mental health.
Perfectionism and Anxiety or OCD
Particularly, individuals with anxiety disorders and OCD tend to exhibit more perfectionistic traits than the average person. Unhealthy levels of perfectionism are also linked with depression, burnout, eating disorders, self-harm, addiction, relationship problems, and other difficulties.
Common Signs of Perfectionism
High standards of self or others
Irritability or anger when others don’t meet your standards
Comparing yourself to others
Afraid of making a mistake or failure
Focused on results and outcomes
High degree of self-criticism
Procrastination
All or nothing thinking
Constantly feeling dissatisfied with life
Sensitivity to criticism
Need for order or neatness
Spending an inordinate amount of time on tasks
Avoiding risks and new experiences
Redoing or reviewing
Overcommitting
Difficulty asking for help
Need to be in control
Types of Perfectionism
Overt Perfectionism
Overt perfectionism is characterized by striving for excellence by overachievement, strong need for order and organization, and strong desire to please others. Overt perfectionist can be detail-oriented and their self-worth is based on their achievements and performance. On the outside, overt perfectionists can appear to others like they have it all together even though internally they are struggling with intense emotional distress and frequent negative self-thoughts. Overt perfectionist can spend an excessive amount of time and resources doing things to avoid feeling imperfect or being perceived as imperfect by others. Overt perfectionists are never content and are always striving for better.
Covert Perfectionism
This type of perfectionism often doesn’t look like perfectionism on the outside because covert perfectionists don’t tend to present with the characteristic external signs of perfectionism. Their perfectionism often shows up more in their internal self-critical thinking and tend to exhibit uncharacteristic perfectionistic external behaviors. For instance, covert perfectionists often say “I don’t care” and minimize how much internal pain and discomfort is experienced when not meeting their internal standards. Additionally, covert perfectionists can use sarcasm or self-deprecating humor to mask their pain and feelings of inadequacy. Furthermore, they tend be disorganized, messy, and struggle to take action and effectively problem-solve daily life responsibilities and challenges. Covert perfectionists may sometimes be described as “lazy, passive, unmotivated, or irresponsible” by other people in their lives.
Overcoming Perfectionism
Cognitive behavioral treatments (CBT) and exposure with response prevention (ERP) are effective treatment approaches that help individuals and families learn tools and strategies to create a healthy balance with perfectionism and embrace what an imperfect life has to offer. There are several factors that contribute to overall treatment success. Working with a trusted and knowledgeable provider who can guide you on your desired path to overcome perfectionism is an important one.